Love-Hate Spectrum

Relationships are complex. And the best (or worst) part is we have to deal with the complexity on daily basis.  Be it in form of colleagues, friends, family, or tens of people we interact every day.

In order to ease out the complexity of relationships, I developed a scale in my mind based on my experiences with all kinds of relationships.

The two ends of the scale are marked as “love” and “hate”. People falling towards “love” are closest to me while those gravitating towards “hate” are non-existent for me.

Of course, position of a particular person might change on the scale but that rarely happens. I may not be able to meet those closest to me, but they are still closest to me.



For me, consideration is the most beautiful human quality. I fall in love with it wherever I found it.

Consideration is when a flat-mate pulls back the table when I am about to crash in it, lost in my inner world. Consideration is when rickshaw puller hands me over an umbrella when it suddenly started to rain. Consideration is when a stranger sitting next to me on my train journey offers me marshmallows when I chewed wrongly-bought spicy burger (I ate two extra than required).

Consideration is everywhere; I just have to spot it, take it in and feel good about it. It makes me that the world is still a lovely place. There is so much happiness scattered around, waiting to be caught just like the game of PokemonGo. But, it is more realistic and more life enhancing than any available mobile application. So, all the consideration put together makes me fall in love.

But then, we are not always so lucky to find such people in our lives.

Sometimes I run into people who are totally indifferent to emotions of other people. Only their self-interest hold importance in their heart. I like to believe that it is perfectly fine to make yourself happy without knowledge of others.

Although I found the precious consideration missing, I am able to accept the behavior.   After all, we all want to be happy and it is good enough if we can look for ourselves.

But, this desire to be happy overwhelms certain section of people. They think it is their copyright to make themselves happy no matter what cost the other person has to pay. These are kind of people that I try so hard to avoid. I do not want them to be anywhere near me: as my friend, as my colleague or even as my maid.

They remind me of “dementors” from Harry Potter series who eat up your confidence and happiness to thrive.  Unfortunately, these dementors do not come with grayed looks or a dark hooded cloak.  So, I might mistake in their recognition. But, as I get nearer to them, my happiness gets sucked.  I am unhappy and I do not find this world to be very rosy.

I cut myself away from them, making them look hated by me.


Needless to say, I want my scale to tilt madly towards the end of “love” and make me meet most wonderful people in my life. 


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